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Moby Dick

Well that was quite probably one of the most carnal, primal, and intense sexual experiences I have ever had. And it came as quite a surprise.

It all started with an unsolicited dick pic to the message app. No initial contact through the dating site, no flirty preamble, just a very impressive dick pic. As ever, timing is everything, and he stands out during a particularly dull phase of contacts from married men.

The fact that he’s single and lives alone is a big winner. I’m sick of all the messing around lately and am pretty keen to get down to it again. From Egypt and Italy, he’s got an exotic look and a friendly smile. And even though his written English isn’t all that great, there’s a cute mix of cheekiness, politeness and adoration that comes through in his messages. And to top it all, he loves chubby birds and cooks pizza for a living.

I’ve worked out that I prefer my adventures midweek and in the afternoon and early evening, so that I can get home with enough energy to enjoy some time with The Husband. And it just so happens that it’s exactly the type of arrangement that suits the needs of a highly sexed pizza chef, working long and unsociable hours.

We’ve only been talking for a few days when I agree to meet him for a quick drink. I’m not madly excited at the prospect, but keen to get back in the game after a month off. There’s an annoying bit of delayed miscommunication over the time and venue for our first meeting and I’m waiting for him wine in hand at a quiet bar when he walks in and spots me immediately. I feel a distinct moment of disappointment when he turns out to be shorter and slighter than I’d expected. But he’s does have a nice smile, seems sweet, and showers me with compliments.

Cheesy lines about my beautiful eyes don’t usually do it for me. The cynic in me immediately puts up barriers. But then again, maybe a bit of adoration might be quite enjoyable, even if it’s superficial game playing. And to be honest, it really is his amazing cock that’s holding my attention. So no matter how ludicrous dick pics are, his one has clearly had an effect on me.

We’re both a bit nervous and uncomfortable, but have a couple of drinks talking about travel, work and eventually, boundaries and expectations. Where he seems to want the whole affectionate ‘girlfriend experience’, I explain the need to be discrete in public. He’s sitting close to me and touching my hand, and despite what I’ve said, I impulsively lean in to kiss him, figuring that it would make my mind up on whether to see him again.

It’s good. But honestly, when will I learn?! While I’ve already checked out that there’s no-one I know in the bar, we bump into my next door neighbour on the way out of the door. He discretely walks around the corner to wait for me, as the woman sat across from us when we kissed greets my neighbour too. I really do have to get a grip and stop snogging randoms in public.

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