But what about this soulmate? He knows, is encouraging me, and is getting his own unique kicks out of it.
As with plenty of other couples, the responsibilities of work, family and the trials of everyday life had drained the energy out of us to the extent that our sex life was virtually non-existent, and not always enjoyable for me on the rare occasions it did happen. When getting dressed in the morning feels like enough physical exertion for one day; when finding a quiet half hour where either of you isn’t flaked out after a tough day at work; and when getting enough privacy in a busy house full of people is a major challenge, sex stops being a priority.
Our sexual relationship has never been what could be considered an ordinary one. He has always been a kinky bugger. I’m not here to tell his story, but his complex sexuality is an incredibly important feature of this whole arrangement. Understanding and navigating his fetishes has been a problematic process for us both. But for once, and for now at least, we have identified a rare and precious moment where our peculiar interests coincide.
There was an extremely painful break in our relationship for a while. It was complicated, destructive and hard to recover from. We both had multiple and varied sexual adventures with other people during this time, but still kept coming back to each other regularly, and eventually for good. One of the many complex reasons behind him leaving involved exploring his bisexuality. Even after ten years of committed and successful monogamy, the inevitable insecurities and doubts remained a major problem for me. Coupled with massive fluctuations in his libido and physical interest in me, I had gradually disconnected myself from him sexually.
This changed from the moment we started to talk about me having sex with other people. The idea fulfilled a long-held cuckold fetish for him, and a sense of sexual reawakening for me. For the first time in years, I became less concerned with what was getting him off, and more focused on my own enjoyment and excitement about the possibilities. There’s nothing more erotic than a woman lost in her own sexual enjoyment. Mentally and physically, we reconnected our sexual selves.